quarantine 2020

The Day Jon Lost His Job

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On Wednesday morning, Jon was laid off from his job. He worked for a design firm whose biggest clients are collegiate and professional athletics, and the pandemic has radically altered the industry in two short weeks. We had talked a few days ago about preparing for this possibility down the road, but neither of us expected it to come so quickly or harshly.

He was offered no severance. Our health insurance ends in five days. My freelance income has dried up to a trickle. Suddenly our savings, which seemed so robust last month, felt like so little.

It began as a very dark day.

But.

Our family and friends have been so generous with their love and support. It’s such a lonely time right now, being physically distanced from everyone except the people who live within our four walls. But we did not feel alone on Wednesday. All day long, emails and texts and phone calls flowed into our home.

And that was the first good thing.

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Then, that afternoon the sun came out. And not just a peek or two through the clouds; true, blue sky sunniness. Jon had spent all day on the computer and phone, reaching out to every contact he could think of and lining up every possible lead. But the four of us headed outside and went for a ride on scooters and bikes, and Ellie made “flower soup” in a puddle in the driveway, and the warmth and brightness seemed to tangibly lift some of the weight from our shoulders.

And that was the second good thing.

But the best came last. Nathan usually uses our shower at night. There’s a waterproof notepad on the wall that Jon got me one Christmas after I complained about losing all my good ideas in the shower. Nathan uses it to write notes to us from time to time, and as I was putting him in bed last night, he let me know there was a new note for us.

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And that was the third good thing.

It’s a tough time. But it’s not without goodness and hope.

Keep spreading kindness and light.

Three Good Things, Part Three

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If yesterday was an embarrassment of riches where I had to work to whittle down my list of good things to only three, today was the opposite of that.

It’s been a hard day. Not for any particular reason, but rather the weight of a thousand different reasons simply became too much to carry for a bit. I think maybe we’re all having that happen from time to time right now—some days just feel heavier and we suddenly find ourselves sobbing in the shower for no reason and all the reasons, all at the same time.

Today was that day for me.

But tonight we had breakfast for supper, which is my favorite … and that’s the first good thing.

The second is that I listened to my 90s country playlist while I cooked and introduced the kids to George Strait and Travis Tritt and Tim McGraw and by the time the pancakes were golden and the bacon was crispy, I was smiling and singing at the top of my lungs. You can’t listen to “It’s A Great Day To Be Alive” and not feel at least a little better.

But there almost wasn’t a third, until five minutes ago when a friend texted me this poem by Wendell Berry:

“Stay Home”

I will wait here in the fields
to see how well the rain
brings on the grass.
In the labor of the fields
longer than a man's life
I am at home. Don't come with me.
You stay home too.

I will be standing in the woods
where the old trees
move only with the wind
and then with gravity.
In the stillness of the trees
I am at home. Don't come with me.
You stay home too.

And just like that, at 10 p.m., I have my three good things.

P.S. If you need more Wendell Berry (and I think we could all use more Wendell Berry right now), may I suggest “The Peace of Wild Things”?

Three Good Things, Part Two

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  1. Today was our first day attempting any sort of homeschool situation. I know the expectations are across the board depending on your school district; ours is pretty low-key. Nathan’s teacher sent a few links to some online learning options and we were encouraged to just spend a little time each day doing something academic. We spent 30 minutes this morning doing ELA activities and 30 more minutes this afternoon doing math, and everyone was happy and agreeable and might’ve even learned something? Marking that in the W column.

  2. My co-host on The Medium Talk Podcast, Colleen, informed me that all past episodes of Full House are available for streaming on Hulu, so we fired up the pilot episode tonight and introduced the kids to the Tanner clan. Jon and I were talking about the complete dearth of “family viewing” options on TV these days, but this throwback fits the bill perfectly. The kids cackled through the whole episode, and the nostalgia factor is solid. We happened to noticed that Family Matters, Step by Step, and Perfect Strangers are also on Hulu, so we might just have to resurrect the whole TGIF lineup.

  3. Once the kids were in bed, Jon and I caught Garth Brooks’ and Trisha Yearwood’s performance on Facebook Live and it was A WORD. I cried like a baby through the whole back half of the show, and it was very cathartic to finally let go of all the emotions I’ve been holding onto and stuffing down for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been reluctant to really let myself “go there” because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to resurface, but then Garth started crying while Trisha sang an a cappella version of Amazing Grace … and I figured if he could cry, I could, too. So I did, and now I feel better. Can we make this a weekly thing?

Not everything about this day was good. But it was a good day.

Three Good Things Today

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I don’t have words yet for everything that’s going on right now, and I don’t know when I will; this is not a blog post of profound wisdom or insight. We are muddling through, the same as everyone else.

I’m tempted to say there are good days and bad days, but the truth is that the days are so long they each contain a dozen switchbacks from good to bad and back again. The underlying tenor of the days is one of anxiety and unsettledness though, and I’m worried that—God willing, someday soon—when this is all a distant memory, the tenor is all I’ll remember.

So starting now, I’m writing down three good things that happen every day. At first I just texted them to a couple of friends, but then I thought maybe I’d like to put them here, too. Not just for the someday version of me, but for tomorrow’s, too.

  1. While we were eating lunch, some friends stopped by unexpectedly. They parked at the end of our driveway and their 10-year-old held a boombox over his head while we laughed and called greetings to each other over the music. Then we stood and visited for a bit from a government-mandated safe distance. Coincidentally (or not), it was the warmest I felt all day.

  2. It took three stores and almost $200, but I managed to find every single item on my grocery list today, down to the very last loaf of the “right” kind of bread and the spinach tortillas Nathan requested.

  3. While on the way home from store No. 3, I was behind a car with a dog hanging its head out the window. We were sitting at a red light when the sun broke through the clouds for the first time in … days? a week? And I swear that dog tilted his head up, closed his eyes, and sighed with pleasure.

    Me too, buddy. Me. Too.